worst....

o no .... i made mistakes again ...
i don't know why, since the 2nd month in my job, i alwayas makes mistakes...
i don't know what i'm goin to do now .... desperate ..... life is truly not easy to go. Even though i think this job is the easiest job, but.... maybe becoz it's different from the one i've done before....

but I also thank God, that i got a job ... (at least, i can earn some pocket money)he...he...

Thank You JC !!!

Time

it's been months that i haven't write here, many things happened. Just can't imagine what God's plan for me, last time on 11 of August, it is the day where I present my Thesis to the panelist. It is very awesome that i really cannot imagine it. I am very scared of the panelist that they will ask something that i cannot answered, but it's just unbelieveable. The panelist almost cannot understand what i am writing, since my writing is too technical for them (besides, the teacher are not majoring IT). Eventhough one of the panelist have an IT bacground, but seems like he doesn't understand too much also.

And because of that, they have only a few questions (luckily i can answered it) and a lots of suggestion (includes asking me to change the thesis into an easy understand one). Well, actually i only understand around 50% of my work also. That is why, i'm surprise when the panelist say that they doesn't understand my work totally.

The way of God is really amaze me that time. Just like the passage I remember :
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,neither are your ways my ways,"declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8

Reborn ...

well, nothing special about reborn here... just formatting my computer.

Last friday, i was searching for a crack program on the internet. dun know what i'm doin, maybe becoz of sleepy, i accidentally download a program, i thought it was the crack i wanted,but it's a virus... Trojan precisely ... ugh ..

But luckily it's not a very dangerous trojan, just a popupper trojan, it keeps popupping a message saiz that my computer is infected by virus, and it automatically download a spyware program, dun know where it came from...

I'd tried so hard to clean it, but it kepts installing itself onto my computer.And at last, i can get rid of it. But since it was infected, i've decided to clean up my computer.And so..here it is ... my new formatted computer. (Reborn again...)

I thought of this name suddenly when i'm lookin for a special name...for this condition.

Just like us, we're infected by many many viruses from this world. But when a person believe in Jesus, the person was reborn again ... formatted into a new computer and will fill it with good programs.Programs that satisfied the user, that is Jesus.

It is not a easy thing to do, to install programs, or download them. Sometimes, there are also some failure in it, but it can be fix. Just like us, when God re-install programs into us, there are so many difficut things, to change our old person, is not easy. But ,after installing it, we are very happy or satisfied to use our new program. After God have change us, we will be a very joyful person in this world, becoming a new person without seeing our past anymore and started a new life with Him...

Ahhh

Everyday is busy and busy and busy ... hmmm... just like i said before, busy doin nothing. well, today is my last day to hand out my proposal, hope it can be approved soon.

I'd remember on the 25th of May, something happened to me, something that never happened before. I was going to a mall with my sister and some friends, I met an old friend, a friend that I'd never thought to met again. She is working at a shop in that mall, it's very surprise me, because i've pass the shop, but didn't see anyone.But when I pass it again, (in order to turn back), i met her.She call us to sit there,and we hace a little chat. But time... oh time... it always never gives me a break, since my sister got a practice , we have to go. well, i think i should really find another good time to meet her. when we are walking home, I met some friends, and surprisingly I met a person that I saw the night before.Hmm.... I never look at anybody in public place and remebered their faces. But this one is strange...really..

Well, i went home with a very exciting heart that day. Hope i can feel this exciting again someday. Actually God is giving you a very good day everyday, just the matter on how you live the day.
Have you realize something beside you, have you look around, and have you realize that He's always there? ....

Final

the final project for my study is comin this nite, ahh... hope that it is not too dificult to do, since the project will be done by personal,(no group) ...

oh yes, last saturday is the first day of paino lesson, there are only 1 student but will be added some next saturday, guess the lesson is not suit for them, since they are totally blank with piano... theory are fine, since we have the book but... the pratice one.. ahhh...
they are very confuse with the fingers they have to use to play a song... hmmm...it's very difficult to teach them in this part... where they have to learn which finger to use...but it's fun too...to see new fingers on the piano .... hehe...

hope everything will be fine....

Geeezzzzz

i've been busying nothing recently ... want do that , do this... at the end, i end up doin nothing. It's so difficult to decide what we want to do next, just like want to finished up everything, but don't know which one need to start first. It's so confusing...

Anyhoz, i'm trying to put a radio blog here, hope it can run well...(hu..hu.hu..). Besides,startin this saturday, i'll be busying in a piano lesson ..Yay !! hope it goes well.And i also want to try to join a logo contest and now i'm tryin to design some logos that suits it. The title is 'Bali Jazz Festival'. yes, it is truly a jazz festival which will be held in Bali around July or August. Eventhough the chance to win is not that easy, but still i think it'll be fun, hehe...

see, i think i'm to greedy for doin somethin,but i hope this time, it will really have a result or i'll be gettin nothing at the end....

Morning Star

Title : Morning Star

Water to my soul
love that makes me whole
apart from you I'm lost
your mercy is so deep
your sacrifice complete
apart from you I'm lost

Looking back on all those times
I should have known how you stood there right beside me
all my wrongs you have atoned
you wiped away my tears I'm not alone

Praise and glory to your name
you will always be the same
let all know you are holy
I'll remain in you and you remain in me
I'm not you are the morning star
let my life now show
that your mercy overflows in me

Looking back on all those times
I could see now you stood there right beside me
all my suffering my shame
you made them all your own for me you came

There is no one else but you that I desire
cause I've seen the glory of your sacrifice
I will offer you my everything
my heart and all my soul
I trust in you alone

2nd Poem

I woke up in the morning,
I fell like something is missing

I read the bible,
Still the feeling is not there

I pray,
Yet it still not there

I do something,
The feeling is more far away

I went out and have a walk,
but still can't find it

I sit and have a cup of tea,
I feel more missing it

I hang out with friends, sitting in the car, chat with them
Even though I laugh,but..
Yet.. I can't

I went with them, having fun together, but..
Yet.. It still there

I went to the church, sitting alone,
watching the cross, hanging in front of me
The missing part...

I try to close my eyes, and try to imagine
Imagine that You are here with me,

This missing part, that is...
That is a feeling I want You to be here..

Eventhough I knew You're here,
Inside my heart,but..

I really want to be with You
Physically ....

I want to have the fun with You,
I want You to hold me,
I want to feel it...
to smell Your fragrance...
to hear Your voices...
to touch You...
to feel your warm body...
deeply ...

That is the missing part of me...
The feeling of far away...
Eventhough I knew it
I knew that You are here...

But You teach me,
to be patient 'till that day
to be faithfull 'till that day
'Till that day...
The day we can be together
Forever...

Poem

God ask you to help your parents
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till they call me.."

God ask you to study
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till exam day..."

God ask you to do your homework
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till the due date..."

God ask you to read bible
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till i woke up..."

God ask you to pray
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till i went to sleep..."

God ask you to speak with them
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till they speak to me..."

God ask you to go to the church
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till the sermon time..."

God ask you to serve Him
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till i have the time..."

God ask you to pray for others
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till they needed..."

God ask you to forgive
but your answer is,"wait, Lord, wait 'till they say sorry..."

God ask you to love Him
but your answer is,"I have love You since I knew You..."

And finally, you ask God,"Lord, do you love me?"
but God answer is,"I don't know you..."

Many times, God ask us to do something, but what is our answer?
Many times, God ask us to love Him, but have we really love Him?
Many times, God ask us to walk on His way, but have we really seen it?
Many times, God ask us to come, but have we really heard Him?

Have we really do a thing for Him ?



(I hope this poem can help you to realize what we realy have done for Him, instead of asking,"Lord, i want that, i want this.." but have we really fullfill what He want us to?)

change

well, i'm researchin on how to use css here ... just put some little change, just hope it can run well .... hmm.....

We need to communicate

another lyric i found...i'm busying with my college homework and exams... just like one of my friend sayz,"March, month of stress..." he..he... i've try to find a little time to have a little break ...and i've decided to put another lyric i found here ...

title : We need to communicate

Why is that an unreasonable pont of view?
When we're talking, we seem to talk of leaving
You changed so much (I was cut apart)
We didn't do that (How was it?)
The way of talking which didn't stop
Until my head seemed to spin and I was irritated
(What did you think of it?)

With us love was cold within 10 months
Everyday we hated what we saw
Like you I found many good people
(People who are seen in magazines
Once it seemed okay)
Affection doesn't come from anywhere
It comes from my heart
There is no end to my heart
Maybe it seems that this is how love is
I'll try to love you
(Try to listen to me from now on)

I clinged to you (That wasn't clinging)
You were too, too tied up (I'll be tied up like you)
We won't trawl dating pages like a rag
Everything is interference (baby woo woo woo)

I want to know what interests you
Inside my head I've become fond of you
Did a wave come and carry me away?
You're awful for not listening to me
(Because of you in my head, I liked you)
I miss you so much, and your phone calls
Did I try to love you?
Your voice sounded annoyed by my "I'm busy now"
(Will you try to listen when I say I'm so sorry?)

We need to talk (Or else we'll break up like this)
I don't really know you (Our words left unsaid)
Always I keep it inside me
How you are precious and how much I thank you
I'll forget it all (baby woo woo woo)

We need to talk
We don't talk enough
If we are in love, we should not speak of trivial things
We don't try hard enough to speak our minds
(I love you so much)
We need to talk

Novabossa

like i said before, i'll be postin up some lyrics for this moment....

Title : Novabossa

The rain falls calmly and sits on my two closed eyes.
Like an old radio, it makes me rest again.

The piano music I've heard since morning talk about those old things
as in my dreams again.

These cozy times that flow on their own speak as they whisper like my old picture and these dust like songs inside this dull sunlight fall asleep again like my old friend.

The rain falls calmly and sits on my two closed eyes.
Like an old radio, it makes me rest again.

The rain that's fallen since morning, becomes music
and like in my dream they talk about those old things.

These cozy times that flow on their own speak as they whisper like my old picture and these dust like songs inside this dull sunlight I fall asleep like my old friend.

Speechless

this is very very... cooolll, i like it.... recently i've just donwload an album of song, a group that sing in jazz style, enjoy it...

title : Speechless

Your skin your breath and I touch you with your thousand memories
and I feel your song smoothly into my ears can't take my eyes away from you

I'm speechless I gotta get to you and take your hands and kiss
I'm so sad and blind I feel no goal and where is my soul and sense
I'm speechless I gotta get to you and take your hands and say
I'm so lost but feel I make no sense and still cannot do anything

You live without me and then my pain deep into my body and soul
and I cry so loud to send my mind away please wake up and then take my hand

I'm speechless I gotta get to you and take your hands and kiss
I'm so sad and blind I feel no goal and where is my soul and sense
I'm speechless I gotta get to you and take your hands and say
I'm so lost but feel I make no sense and still cannot do anything

Dance

i've just heard a song, and it's so sad romantic , have a look ...

Song Title : Dance

Don’t wipe your tears, let them fall as rain on your path
Show your bright smile, let it be the light on your path

When the darkness fades and clouds pass
Hold your tears and show your lovely face
Can you ever understand ?
And you're always on my heart
Put your arms around my soul till I get to you

Dance now (hold your breath)
don't you cry
take my hand, hold your breath, the night is young
dance now (hold your breath)
show your smile
take my hand, hold your tears, the love is young

When sadness tries to take over, take my hand, and dace with me, so you can see
To keep separation from being our destiny, set you free, to be with me, so you can see

Doodoo Dooroodoo…

Dance now (hold your breath)
don't you cry
take my hand, hold your breath, the night is young
dance now (hold your breath)
show your smile
take my hand, hold your tears, the love is young

Let’s not regret, even though we won’t be able to meet again
Now it’s time for me to go, to be with me, so you can finally see

Dance now
don't you cry
take my hand, hold your breath, the night is young
dance now
show your smile
take my hand, hold your tears, the love is young

....

i got these kind of feeling,just like a song i heard...such a painful song....

(i modified the song to make it more like my feeling)
One day suddenly, on a fateful day
When I open my eyes, familiar faces,
clear conversations, clear misunderstandings
Like that, my memories flew away.

And now I'm searching one living chance
My dried up tears for it and
On days when I long for it
Will I have even my laughter again?

Even if I want to find any kind of words,
there are only a few childish ones.
For a long time I tried so hard
but yet haven't found one

And now I'm searching but I can't
When I close my eyes,
there are only tears inside
will i ever be changed ?

My late regrets that I couldn't tell,
You'd probably just hear them as being funny.
For a long time I tried so hard to erase it,
Now it can't be, even in dreams, can it?

And now I'm searching one living chance
My dried up tears for it and
On days when I long for it
Will I have even my laughter again?

And now I'm searching but I can't
When I close my eyes,
there are only tears inside
will i ever be changed?

Truth

Sometimes the truth is so different with what we have thought of ...
i know a friend of mine was having relationship with a person which is i know too, but, 2 days ago... i saw it by myself... their relationship was... WOW !!! surprise me .... it makes me more confused, i guess....

hmm i don't think this is a thing to be writen here..but anyhoz.. just want to train myself to be active here ...he..he...

hmmm

1 more days to go to reach the chinese new year.... hope tomorow i can get a taxi to home.....yeah.....

i've learn somethin again recently .... that is to give up what i want ...i know i'm a person who want so many things ... i've always say Lord, i want this... i want that ... but ...

Lord saiz to me to give up all that things...and i'm tryin now to give it up , even it's hard (though) but i think i can try it first ...

In Your Hand (a lyric i translate from chinese song)

I do want to give all my heartin Your hand, no kepping, no keeping
Everything in my life is Your gift for me, everything is Yours

maybe i've wanted to have, but You want me to learn slowly,
to give it up in every time
Now i'm different, Life is Yours not mine
truly wants to be Your beautiful hand work

(sory, my translation is bad, because the chinese was a little bit hard ....hehez..)

new year

well, it's been a long time since i've wrote here.... he..he..

it's a new year again , but this time .... i feel like nothing special... feel like i'm already used to wrote the year of 2006 .... feel like there's nothing like new year .... i feel empty ... really ..

but i surely pray for my life to got better this year , even though they said this year will be more harder than last year ... disaster will happen again ...
o Lord, please help us ... i know something will going to be happen in this country, as they have propercied...as they have saw many years ago ... Please help your children to survive in this things ....

Send us your mercy (Frontline Generation)

There is such a misery, there is such a devastation
Mountains tremble, the earth was shaken
Revealing our fraility

Many nations mourn, many people grieve
Many lives were lost, and many tears fall down

How can it be ? such a tragedy
Such a cosmic mistery
We are desperate for Your touch

Send us Your mercy, o God
Take the sorrows from our hearts
Open up our eyes, lead us to Your way
Lord consume us with compassion to love

Send us Your mercy, o God
Come restore this dying land
Open up our hearts,lead us to Your way
let Your kindness fill this land once again ...

Please send us Your mercy...